Light of Some Kind *HF*
By Blackfire
Blackfire, I'm reposting this for you. Because I had it, and it's one of the best things I've ever read. If you haven't read it, read it! Tis good!!!
And just for your info...the Jacob in this story is NOT me. I don't even think I was around when she wrote this!
Loki
“At the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame there must be a light of some
kind.” --- Ani Difranco
She drove up to the Elementary School and parked. Slowly, as though in a dream,
she stepped out of the car. She walked up to the big oak tree that she always
used to sit on when she was a child. It seemed to the woman known as Blackfire
that a thousand ghosts haunted this playground. Faces of children that she
hadn’t seen in years came to her suddenly. Some were gone, some had moved on,
and some had just slowly faded away. Blackfire sat in her old place in front of
the oak tree, feeling it’s cool bark against her skin. She was waiting for him.
It had been years since she had seen him, and she missed him more than she would
ever admit. She knew that he was a part of her that she would never be able to
replace. And she knew that she had to make him understand. . . had to make him
forgive her. Because if he couldn’t forgive her she knew that she could never
forgive herself. And she longed to put out the burning self-hatred that had been
tormenting her for so many years. If only he could see inside her mind. If only
he could feel the things she felt. Even if he didn’t, she knew that it would be
worth it just to see his face again. She was dressed in blue jeans and a long
sleeved black shirt. It was the exact same thing that she had worn the last day
she saw him. She briefly wondered if he would remember. She briefly wondered how
he could forget. When she left, her clothes had been torn and drenched with
blood. It was not something that someone could easily erase from their mind. Now
they were clean, but a part of her felt like they were still blood stained and
torn, like her soul. She shut her eyes tight and tried hard not to think.
Thinking too much was always bad for her.
“Hello, Sharon,” came a voice that sounded familiar and yet strange at the
same time. She opened her eyes and looked up at the man standing in front of
her.
“Hello, Michael,” she answered. He looked the same, but he had changed. He was
older. Three years older to be exact. But he still looked like the same
fun-loving guy that she had known. His brown hair was a little longer; it was
just past his ears, but his eyes were the same. Please understand, Blackfire
prayed silently. Please. . . .
“Mind if I sit down?” the man more commonly known as Iceblade asked.
“You know you can,” Blackfire answered. He sat down in front of her and plucked
a blade of grass from the ground.
“I’m glad you came,” she said very softly.
“Me too,” Iceblade answered. And she saw the longing to understand in his eyes.
He wanted, more than anything, to have things back the way that they were
before. He wanted to know that his sister was not crazy. He wanted it to have
all been a bad dream. But he knew he could never have that. It had happened, and
he had finally accepted that. And now what he really wanted was to know his
sister’s side of the story. He wanted to live it like she had lived it through
her memories. He wanted to forgive her.
“I don’t know where to begin,” Blackfire whispered. She was normally a fairly
loud person, but she was so afraid that she was going to burst into tears at any
moment. And tears are a very powerful thing when someone else sees them.
“Just tell me what happened and how you felt,” Iceblade answered, putting the
blade of grass between his teeth. Blackfire shut her eyes and tried to clear her
mind. Iceblade shut his eyes and did the same. The siblings had been very close
for most of their life and had shared a weak telepathic link. Iceblade told her
that he wanted to feel what she felt. She would let him in her mind. But, first,
she wanted to just talk to him. He heard her in his head, could feel how scared
she was, even now. And a part of him hurt with her. She spoke in his mind,
stumbling over some of the words, but it was still obvious to him that she was
being honest.
“You see, Michael,” Blackfire spoke in his head, “Sometimes when something
happens, it’s too awful for your brain to handle. Maybe it hurts your soul too
much to think about it, so your mind tries to pretend like nothing happened.
But, it doesn’t make it go away. In fact, I think it makes it worse. One day,
you will just be sitting there and something will remind you of it. And your
memories will come down upon you so fast and so hard that it is like being
crushed. It is worse than being crushed, because you have no way to stop the
cruel torment of the memories and they swallow you whole until you are engulfed
by the pain. And you hate. And you hate. And you hate.
The funny thing about hating is that, instead of swallowing you whole, it eats
you away bit by bit, a slow and painful torture. And it eventually destroys you.
Some try to deny it. Others show it in everything they do. . . the hate becomes
them and it is all they know. I tried to hide it. I try to hide everything. But,
sometimes something will come along and rip me into shreds and I can’t tell
anyone. That is the worst. A ball of burning pain. A knot of pure fear. And it
doesn’t go away, oh, no, it just gets worse. Until you just explode with the
pain. Like I said before, your brain can’t handle it. It’s not fair to you. . .
well, hell, life’s not fair, right?
The strange thing about me is that I am everything at once. I am numb in many
ways, but in others I am on fire. And I hate, yet I love. It is worse to hate a
thing rather than a person because if you hate a thing, you can’t fight it, yell
at it, scream at it. . . kill it. . . bring it as much pain as it brought you.
So, I have to tell someone. I thought you might care how I feel. Because? Well,
just because I am like you, I’m real and I need. . . relief. I’m so tired of
hating myself. I want to be clean again.
When I am in pain, I long to be numb and when I am numb, I long for the pain.
Isn’t that weird how it works? But, I think that sometimes if something cuts too
deep, trying to heal it will make you cry just as hard as you cried when you
received the wound. Well, for me, the scar has reopened and it is a mixed
blessing, one that I want over quickly, but I am afraid it will be a slow and
very painful healing process. But, at least I know where my thoughts are. And at
least I know what happened to me and I don’t have to sit and wonder anymore. . .
don’t have to sit here and dread when the memories might decide to barge in on
me. When will it be? In the middle of the night? In the middle of church? In the
car? At school? Never? This is not easy for me. I feel like I’m opening the
wound wide. . . and the blood is soaking my thoughts. But, it’s okay. . . I
think it was infected. . . I need to bleed out the poison.”
Iceblade took a deep breath. He was sure, without a doubt, that he was ready
for this. He had been building up the courage to actually go through with it for
several months. Now, he was ready.
“Take me there,” he told her.
“I’ll take you there. Back in June. When the killings first started happening,”
she answered.
“How does it feel to kill someone?” Iceblade asked in her mind.
“Michael, I can’t tell you that,” she answered.
“You mean you never killed any of those people?” he asked, startled.
“No, I mean I can’t tell you how it felt,” she said. He knew that she was crying
then.
“Take me there,” he repeated.
“Okay,” she whispered. Please don’t hate me. Of course, she wasn’t really taking
him back in time. They were both simply reliving her memories.
“She’s convinced she can hold back a glacier.” --Tori Amos
Sharon Stokes ignored the fear that tried to strangle her every time she woke up
from the nightmare. She was so determined not to break that she never even
stopped to wonder what was causing her to break in the first place. In her mind,
it was just about making it through the day. . . making it through the night.
She was so used to living with the nightmares that she never even stopped to
consider the fact that she could make them go away. She didn’t wonder why she
had the nightmare because she didn’t want to know the answer. So, instead, she
tossed and turned in bed all night, trying not to break. She wished that she
knew of a place where her demons couldn’t go, but she didn’t. Some nights, she
would wake up screaming, and others in a cold sweat. And it seemed as though her
heart beat would never return to normal. She was afraid that it would beat right
out of her chest. Sometimes she wished that it would. But it was his face that
haunted her. Always his face. . . no matter how hard she tried, she could not
make him go away. No, she could not forget what happened. And suddenly Sharon
wondered how long she could ignore it. Sometimes silence is the same as
agreement.
“He did it again,” Sharon said as her best friend opened the door and let her
in.
“It’s no big deal,” Josh Hayes answered. Sharon frowned as she studied his
swollen lip and black eye.
“No big deal?” she asked. “How do you expect to explain that to people
tomorrow?”
“I’ll say I fell,” he mumbled, his gaze never meeting hers.
“Right. You fell and the floor just hit you in those two places?” she responded.
“Sharon, please,” Josh said in a whisper. That’s when she knew how close he was
to breaking. He seemed to be choking on his emotions. Josh had been her best
friend since 8th grade and she hadn’t found out about his father until this
year. He had been so afraid. . . so ashamed of something that was not even his
fault.
“It wasn’t really his fault,” Josh told her. “He was missing mom.” Josh’s mother
had left when he was 8 and his father had started drinking. That set off years
of abuse, both mentally and physically. Josh always tried to make up excuses for
his father because he so wanted his father to be a good person. Josh sat down on
his bed with his head in his hands.
“Josh, he had no right to hurt you,” Sharon said softly. But she felt an awful
burning hatred from within. Her knuckles were turning white from clenching her
hands together by her side. She held it back, determined to be strong and calm
for Josh.
“I kind of deserved it,” Josh told her. He looked up at her and there were tears
in his eyes. “I mean, if I were him. . . maybe I would have done the same
thing.” Sharon just shook her head as she sat down beside her friend.
“You wouldn’t have,” she told him. Josh burst into tears and Sharon hugged him.
He clung to her as though she were the only thing keeping him alive and sobbed
uncontrollably. Sharon held her friend and made up her mind to protect him.
“Josh, you have to get away from him,” she said. She hated the way her voice
cracked, saturated with her hurt and fear for the only person who had ever
really cared for her. The only person that she knew of who didn’t deserve to be
hurt. Yet he seemed to be cracked beyond repair.
“I can’t,” Josh whimpered. “He’ll come and find me. I know he will. Besides, he
needs me.”
“No,” Sharon answered.
“I need him,” Josh whispered.
“No,” Sharon said again.
“I just want a father,” Josh told her. “Why can’t I just have a father? I
already lost my mother. Why does he have to hate me too?”
“I. . .” Sharon said, unable to supply him with an answer.
“I don’t hate you,” she finally answered. “And believe me when I say you don’t
deserve this.”
“I don’t hate you either,” Josh said with a small smile. “You’re the only person
who ever tried to get to know me. And I know that’s not easy.” What he was
saying was true, Josh was a very unemotional person. But Sharon had been able to
relate to it. She knew what it was like to have to build walls around you. She
knew what it was like to not know how to break those walls down after you
thought you could.
“Sharon, I told him I was gay,” Josh told her. “That’s why he hit me.” Sharon’s
mind tried to process this information. He was gay? She had always suspected it.
. . no she had always known it.
“That’s not your fault,” Sharon said.
“He promised never to do it again,” Josh told her, staring at the wall.
“He always does,” she answered, trying to push the anger back.
“Sharon,” Josh said softly, as though he were afraid that she too would hit him
at any moment.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“I don’t want to die here. . . not like this.” Sharon turned to face the wall so
that he couldn’t see the tears running down her face.
“Not like this. . .” he said again.
“Josh, are you in there?” yelled his father from outside his door. Sharon saw
Josh cringe as he shrank away from the door.
“Dad. . . leave me alone,” he pleaded. “I have company.”
“Are you talking back to me?” his father roared, shoving open the door and
barging in.
“No, sir,” Josh answered.
“What are you doing here?” Mr. Hayes asked Sharon. His eyes were blood shot and
there was the obvious smell of alcohol on his breath. He was a big man too,
about three times the size of Josh. For a moment even Sharon was afraid of the
dark and ugly monster who had just stormed into Josh’s room. But she quickly
smothered the fear with her anger.
“I came to check on Josh,” she responded, glaring at the big man.
“What the fuck do you care about Josh? Didn’t you hear? He doesn’t like girls,
he’s a fucking queer.” Mr. Hayes’ voice was slurred and obnoxiously loud. Sharon
winced from the cruel tone in his voice.
“Dad, please,” Josh whimpered. “Sharon just came to ask me about some homework.
She’s about to leave.”
“Damn right, she is,” his father answered, glaring at Sharon. Sharon glared
back, her hands balled into fists.
“I’m not leaving,” she told them both.
“I don’t think you want to see what’s about to happen,” Josh’s dad told her with
a cruel grin.
“Don’t touch him,” Sharon told him. She looked down and noticed that her nails
had been digging hard into her wrists and now blood trickled down her hand.
“I’ll do whatever I want!” Mr. Hayes’ yelled. “He’s my fucking queer of a son!”
And with that the drunken man grabbed Josh and slammed him into the wall. Josh
fell down, blood spilling from a wound on his forehead and curled into a ball,
sobbing. Mr. Hayes advanced on Josh again and suddenly Sharon felt something
within her snap. It was not right. . . it reminded her. . . it was not right. .
. she couldn’t stop the memories from drowning her. Suddenly she found herself
in between Josh and his father.
“Leave him alone,” she repeated.
“You want a piece of this too?” Mr. Hayes asked, making an obscene gesture with
his hands and laughing. “I can’t help it that that faggot won’t fight back. He’s
not a man.” Sharon felt a burning heat sweep over her body as she let her anger
take control.
“He’s more of a man that you can ever be,” she yelled back at him.
“Sharon—“ Josh said.
“Josh, you said you didn’t want to die here. Your father will kill you. And I’d
never forgive myself if I allowed him to do that.” Sharon focused the anger
within her on her hands. I know you can do it, girl, she thought. You’ve done it
before. Her anger came out in eerie colored black flames that shot out of her
hands and spilled onto Josh’s father. He screamed as his clothes went up in fire
that was like night. Then, in a panic, his father stumbled out of the room,
still howling with pain. Sharon bent down and put Josh’s arm around her as she
helped him out of the house.
“You’re never going back there again,” she told him.
“Thank you, Blackfire,” he answered. Sharon smiled. She liked the sound of that
name. They both stumbled out of the house and into Josh’s yard.
“Do you think it will burn down the whole house?” Josh asked.
“Not if you don’t want it to,” Sharon answered. “I can always pull the fire back
into me.”
“Don’t let it burn my computer,” Josh pleaded. Josh was a hacker to the extreme.
It had always come in handy when Sharon waited until the last minute to do a
report or project.
“I wouldn’t dare,” she responded. Josh held his hand over the wound on his
head, applying pressure to it.
“I can. . . help you. . . if you want,” Sharon told him.
“What?” Josh asked.
“I can heal it,” Sharon answered. “One of the great things about regeneration.”
“Okay,” Josh said. He had known that Sharon had extraordinary powers for quite
some time now, but he had never known to what extent. He somehow found the fact
that she was a mutant very comforting. It made them both different. Sharon
spread both of her hands out on Josh’s forehead and concentrated. In her mind,
she saw his wound coming together and healing. Josh cringed from the touch of
her hand on the fresh cut, but quickly relaxed when he felt a warm feeling
travel through his face. Sharon’s hand started to glow a soft yellow.
“Okay,” she said, lifting her hand.
“Thank you,” Josh answered. “I don’t know how to repay you.”
“I know how you can,” Sharon told him. “I’m gonna need your computer skills for
a new “project” I have coming up.” Josh could feel the ice in her voice. He knew
that she was not talking about a school project this time.
“How old were you?” he asked.
“What?” she responded, thrown off-guard by the question.
“When he hurt you. . . how old?” Josh asked.
“How did you know?” she asked weakly.
“I could tell,” he said. “Your eyes are haunted. And the way you looked at my
father. The way you are drawn to people as fucked up as you.”
“I was 9,” she answered, biting her bottom lip as she tried to stop the tears.
“I’ll help you,” Josh answered, glaring up at his house. “Just tell me what to
do.”
“I’m down to just one thing. . . and I’m starting to scare myself.” –Trent
Reznor
Josh’s fingers moved swiftly over the keyboard as he worked. The brightness of
the screen reflected on his face. His eyes never left the screen and he wore a
grim expression. Suddenly, his eyes brightened.
“Sharon,” he called into the other room. “I’ve got your man.” Sharon walked into
the dark room and stood behind Josh.
“Tell me a little about our guy,” she said. Josh’s eyes scanned the computer
screen as he read.
“Well, his name is Sam Kirby. Looks like he’s 6’1, 210 pounds. Blonde hair. . .
brown eyes, yadda yadda yadda.”
“And what does he like to do in his spare time?” Sharon asked.
“Looks like he likes to lure little boys into the woods and molest them,” Josh
answered. “And the worst part is he’s a repeat offender. He’s just going to keep
on doing it again and again. This is sick.”
“He’s perfect,” Sharon answered in a cold voice as she allowed her fists to go
up in flames.
“Save it,” Josh told her. Then he typed a few more things on the keyboard
quickly. “Okay, let me just print this out for you. It’s all of the information
you need-- address and everything.”
“Great,” Sharon told him. “Josh, you’re a real pal. Thanks for helping me with
this.”
“My pleasure,” Josh responded. Then he turned around so that he was facing her.
“How exactly are you planning on doing this?” he asked.
“I’m going to follow him around,” Sharon answered as she pulled out a nasty
looking blade from her desk drawer. “You know, find his habits. . . when he does
what he does.”
“And you’re going to kill him?” Josh asked, eyeing the blade with caution.
“I’m going to stop him,” Sharon answered.
“With your black fire?” Josh asked.
“Josh, I am black fire. It’s like a part of me. It my anger. . . my frustration.
. . my fear.” Sharon turned to the door to leave.
“Fine,” Josh answered. “While you’re going out and doing your thing, I’ll be
looking for our next guy.” Sharon turned back around and smiled at him, then she
shut the door behind her. After she was gone, Josh sat alone with his head in
his hands and wondered if all of the prayers in the world could even save Sharon
from herself.
Sam Kirby sat alone on the park bench, reading a book. He looked like a nice
enough man, clean cut with nice clothes on. But Blackfire had already noticed a
pattern with people like Sam Kirby. It was in their eyes. Their eyes were empty
and cold. It never failed to send chills up her spine when she saw them. They
didn’t look human. People like Sam Kirby were missing one thing. . . a soul.
Sam Kirby started humming softly to himself as he watched the children playing
on the playground in the park. To anyone else who might be walking in the park,
Sam just looked like he was enjoying watching the children play. He looked about
30, so the casual observer would just think that he was probably thinking of his
own children as he watched them. But where other people saw innocence, Blackfire
could see him calculating and choosing his next victim. She wanted to jump out
now and grab him. She wanted to slit his throat so that those cold, heartless
eyes would not haunt her dreams anymore. But she didn’t. She waited. She knew
the more she waited, the greater her anger would be. . . and the more pain she
could inflict upon Sam Kirby.
She saw him studying a small boy who looked about 8, with shaggy brown hair,
bright blue eyes, and a face full of freckles. Sam watched the child for about
ten minutes, and then he set his book aside and stood up. Blackfire clenched her
fists to stop herself from running out there and grabbing the boy before Sam
could get to him. I must wait, she thought. Must wait. Must wait. Sam approached
the boy and knelt down beside him, talking softly to him. The boy looked from
Jack to his playmates on the playground and suddenly laughed at something Sam
said. The boy was almost screaming innocence. That’s why Sam wanted him. He
always liked the ones who seemed the most naïve. Then Sam reached down and took
the boy by the hand, leading him away from the other children, away from any
witnesses.
Blackfire moved behind them, trying to keep herself in the shadows. She didn’t
want to admit to herself how good she was at remaining undetected. Little did
she know that this quality would serve her well later on in her life. Sam led
the little boy to a small clearing in the woods where no one could see them.
Blackfire stopped a few feet behind Sam, sticking to the shadows until she found
the perfect time to attack.
“Now what did you say your name was again, son?” asked Sam as he looked down at
the child.
“My name is Bobby,” the boy answered, his blue eyes shining. “Now can I have
some ice cream, mister?” Blackfire chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to
control herself.
“Of course, Bobby,” Sam answered in a detached voice. “But you have to do
something for me first.”
“What’s that?” Bobby asked, eagerly looking forward to the ice cream.
“I want you to touch me,” Sam Kirby told Bobby. Blackfire shut her eyes tight as
the memories swarmed over her. Touch me. Touch me. Touch me. Stop shaking, girl,
she told herself. Stop it. Bobby’s eyes clouded over in confusion.
“I don’t want to do that,” he said in a very small voice. “My mommy told me that
I don’t never have to do what strangers say.”
“Well, your mother isn’t here,” Sam said, narrowing his eyes and pulling a small
knife out of his pocket. “In fact, no one is here. No one will hear you scream,
little Bobby. So you’d better do exactly what I say.” Bobby burst into tears as
he realized how trapped he really was. Blackfire took this opportunity to step
from the shadows.
“Leave the child alone, Mr. Kirby,” she said in a voice that she didn’t even
recognize. In her mind, she tried to place herself far away from the events that
she knew were about to take place. Some things are just too awful for your mind
to handle all at once. Sam jumped, obviously surprised by the young woman who
had just stepped seemingly out of nowhere.
“Who the hell are you?” he asked, pulling Bobby towards him and holding the
knife to his throat. “I’m warning you, lady. You’d better get the hell away from
me!” Blackfire took a step backwards and her eyes briefly met Bobby’s. She saw
the piercing fear that haunted his eyes, she could almost feel his confusion and
hurt. And she could completely relate to what she saw.
“Step away from the child, Sam,” she said, keeping her voice even and calm.
“Just get away from here!” Sam yelled, obviously not listening, or maybe just
not caring about what she said. His eyes held the look of a mad man. Blackfire
decided to take no chances with Bobby’s safety. She pulled out her dagger and
flung it accurately at Sam Kirby’s neck. Unfortunately, he moved to the right,
and it struck him in the shoulder instead. He cried out in agony and drew his
own small knife across Bobby’s cheek. Bobby’s started crying harder, and
Blackfire was immediately on Sam.
“Bastard!” she screamed, using brute force to pry Sam and Bobby apart. Bobby was
flung onto the ground, where he cowered in fear, blood trickling from his face.
“Run, Bobby!” Blackfire yelled at him. “Go home!” Bobby got shakily to his feet
and stumbled back towards the playground. Blackfire watched him, until she was
sure that he was gone then she turned back to Sam Kirby.
“Please,” Sam blubbered. “Don’t hurt me. I wasn’t really going to hurt that boy.
Have mercy.” Blackfire stared into his cold, hard eyes. I know someone who can
be just as cold, she thought.
“Fuck you, Sam,” she told him as she jerked the dagger out of his shoulder. He
cried out again and she sneered at him.
“Remember what you told Bobby? No one can hear you scream,” Blackfire told him
with a cruel grin. “You really should have just let that boy go.” Sam started
crying, but this only seemed to further fuel Blackfire’s anger. She grabbed the
dagger tightly and allowed the ebony fire to surround it. Then she plunged it
into Sam Kirby’s groin. Sam screamed a scream of a man in pure, white hot pain.
The last thing Sam felt as he was slowly and painfully bleeding to death was a
blade going across his throat.
Blackfire cleaned her dagger on the grass and slowly started to walk away. She
tried not to notice the blood she had gotten on her hands and legs. It made her
stomach turn to think about it.
“Excuse me,” said a very timid voice from behind her. She turned around and
there was Bobby, the little boy that she had just saved. She noticed that his
face was still bleeding and he was shaking from fear.
“Bobby,” she said softly, “why didn’t you go home?”
“Because I wanted to say thanks,” the little boy answered. “You saved me.”
Blackfire knelt down beside him and placed her hand over his face, allowing it
to come together in her mind and heal.
“You can heal and you can kill?” Bobby asked. Blackfire gave him a small smile.
“Kind of ironic, isn’t it, kid?” she asked. “I really think you should go home
now.”
“I won’t forget this, ma’am,” Bobby told her.
“That’s too bad,” Blackfire answered. “Take care of yourself, Bobby.”
“But, who are you?” Bobby called as she was walking away.
“I’m Blackfire,” she answered. “Maybe we’ll meet again someday.” Then she was
gone, praying that the child would make it home safely
“How many has it been now?” Josh asked, still staring at the computer screen.
“I don’t know, Josh,” Blackfire answered. “Does it matter?”
“It’s been 7,” Josh told her. “You have killed 7 people.”
“Does it matter?” she repeated, glaring at him.
“Yes it matters!” Josh yelled. “How long do you think you are going to get away
with doing this? You can’t hide forever. And when is it going to stop, Sharon?
When? 8 people? 20 people? Never?” Blackfire turned away from him.
“Just one more,” she whispered.
“You know I’d like to believe that as much as you would,” Josh told her, “but
you always say that. And sometimes killing will make the nightmares go away. . .
but they always come back.” Sharon shuddered. He was right, no matter how many
people she killed and no matter how evil they were, her nightmares always
returned. Josh was always her voice of reason. He told her what she already knew
was true in her heart. And what scared her more than anything was that she was
never going to be able to stop. That she would have to keep killing for the rest
of her life to stop the nightmares. To stop him from coming and getting her
again. Blackfire sat down in a chair and tried hard not to think. Josh sighed
softly and walked over in front of her, looking her in the eyes.
“Sharon, I liked it too at first. The killings, I mean. It seemed like those
pricks were getting exactly what they deserved. And I never thought you were
wrong. I agreed with you. Those guys deserved what they got. But you. . . you
don’t deserve this. It’s like this is the only thing that you live for and that
really scares me. You live for death. What can that say about your life?”
Blackfire looked back at her best friend and found that she was shaking, though
she didn’t know why.
“Josh,” she murmured, “I’m afraid of myself. Do you know how scary that is?”
Josh looked back at the computer screen and studied it for a few minutes.
“I think I know what will stop this,” he told her. “And I think you know too.”
“No, I can’t,” Blackfire sobbed. “I just can’t.”
“Yes you can,” Josh said with determination. “Sharon, you and I both know that
the only way to stop this nightmare is to confront the person who started it in
the first place. You have to face the guy who hurt you.” Blackfire bowed her
head and sighed. She had never felt so weary in her whole life. And she knew
that she was ready for this torture to end.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Find him for me.”
“Tear his heart out, cold as ice, it’s mine.” – Courtney Love
Blackfire sat in the passenger’s side of the car and tried to stay calm. The
truth was she had never been so afraid in her life. She was, in fact, facing
the one person that scared her the most. And this was something that she was not
going to be able to wake up from like her nightmares. This was something she had
to finish. She glanced over at Josh, who was looking at the road as he was
driving.
“I really wish you would just let me come with you,” he told her, looking at her
out of the corner of his eye. Blackfire took a deep breath.
“You can’t, Josh. I need you to wait here. I don’t know what this guy is going
to do and I can’t risk you getting hurt. Besides, I can handle it.” Josh wanted
to argue, but decided against it. Sharon didn’t need to hear his insecurities on
top of her own. But, he was truly afraid that she would not be able to handle
it. There is only so much one person can handle before they just snap. And,
judging from the look in her eye, she couldn’t take much more. He didn’t want
her to become something that was hardly better than the monsters she killed. But
he knew deep down that she would never purposely harm an innocent person. . . or
did he? Lately it seemed like he didn’t know his best friend at all. She had
changed; become obsessed and cold. And he had the sinking feeling that it was
only going to get worse unless she somehow put an end to it herself. But, he
could also see her fear. It was the only thing that made her look human to him
at all right then. And the pain. The pain just seemed to radiate from her.
“Plus, I might need a quick getaway,” Blackfire added. “I need you to be in here
and ready.” Josh stopped the car and turned to her.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked her. “I mean, we could call the police. This
guy would go to jail and then you wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.”
“No,” Blackfire answered, looking out the window, “the only way I can stop him
from haunting me is to stop him now. The only way I can ever relax is to know
that he is dead. Do you know what it’s like to always be looking over your
shoulder? Always afraid that one day he will be there?” Josh didn’t answer. He
did know what it was like. He knew the feeling all too well.
“I won’t be able to sleep until I rip out his fucking heart,” Blackfire said.
Josh shuddered. So much anger. How could this possibly be the way to find the
peace that she desired?
“Just don’t rush anything,” Josh told her. “I don’t want you to allow him to
hurt you anymore than he already has.”
“Don’t worry, Josh,” Blackfire said with a determined look, “he won’t touch me
again.”
“Okay,” Josh whispered, and then he impulsively reached over and hugged his
friend. She stiffened at first, but then gladly returned the hug.
“Good luck, Sharon. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.” She smiled
softly as she stepped out of the car.
“Me too,” she said. “Me too.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The young mutant known as Blaze kept his eyes on the man walking in front of
him. Tracking came almost as naturally to him as his Cajun accent. Blaze was a
ruggedly handsome twenty year old man with long brown hair and light brown eyes.
His hair was pulled back in a ponytail, as always and he wore blue jeans and a
black T-shirt. Now, Blaze’s thoughts were focused on the man he was tracking. He
had been tracking him for several days and he wasn’t about to lose him now.
“Dis is defiantly de guy,” Blaze thought to himself as he lit a cigarette. “And
he gonna pay for what he did ta Jacob.” Jacob Fieldstone was one of the few
people that Blaze actually considered a friend. Though he was only fourteen, the
boy had a charm that just drew people to him. He was always joking and grinning
and had the ability to cheer up Blaze even when he was having a really bad day.
Just being around Jacob made you feel better about yourself, like maybe some of
his joy, which seemed so genuine, would rub off . So, when Jacob first tried to
commit suicide, it made no sense in Blaze’s mind.
Blaze basically had to force Jacob to tell him what happened. There was so much
shame and guilt. Enough to drown in. It turned out that Jacob wasn’t a very
happy person, he had just become so used to wearing a mask that he wasn’t sure
how to take it off to reveal who he really was. When Jacob was seven years old
he was raped by a man who called himself Revenir. No one knew what his first
name was, or if maybe that was his first name. It didn’t matter to Blaze. He
wanted to see Revenir where he belonged. . . behind bars.
Blackfire decided that she really wouldn’t mind so much if her mind just decided
to cloud over. Right now, every step she took was almost physically painful.
She could never admit to Josh how afraid she was right now. She was Blackfire.
She didn’t know fear. She was Blackfire. She had never been so afraid. She tried
hard to think of something else, anything else, to ease fear’s cold grip on her
heart. It was racing through her blood, like some tiny, icy fish. In a way, this
was worse for her than when she met Revenir last time. Because at least she
wasn’t afraid at first. She hated it. Walking in wearing her fear like a cloak.
If only she could just turn around and go back to Josh. Maybe she wouldn’t kill
again. Maybe she could just go to sleep and not have any nightmares. While
Blackfire’s mind screamed these thoughts, her heart knew that she had to destroy
the very thing that scared her the most. And in order to destroy Revenir, she
would have to face him again. She wanted to see Revenir where he belonged. . .
dead in the dirt.
Blaze actually couldn’t wait until this was over. Revenge wasn’t his favorite
thing and he could think of about fifty things that he would rather be doing
than chasing this scum. But, Blaze was a good man. And he believed in justice.
He knew that he had made his mistakes in his life and he was sure that he would
make plenty more, but this felt right. Revenir needed to be stopped. And Blaze
was just the man to do it. He watched Revenir walking in front of him and
mentally prepared to attack. He wouldn’t kill the man, just knock him out so
that he could take him to the police station. And Blaze was determined that this
man was going to jail for life. There was no way that he was going to allow him
to get free. “He lucky that jail be all he’s gettin’,” Blaze thought to himself.
He saw that Revenir was distracted by something and decided that now was the
perfect time to attack. But, right before he leaped from the shadows, Blaze
detected another presence using his low level telepathic abilities. He stopped
without thinking and laid low. Someone else was there. Maybe this was going to
be easier than he thought.
Blackfire walked up behind Revenir. Revenge was hers. . . she could almost taste
it. She had never felt so afraid, yet she had never felt so alive. Her hands
were shaking very badly and her knees felt very weak. She remembered what she
told Josh. “I’ll never let him touch me again.” Never let him touch me. Never
let him touch me. Her whole body shuddered with the memory that was standing
right in front of her. Her whole body felt cold and numb. And in her mind,
Blackfire started to panic. Blackfire never panicked.
“Revenir,” she whispered as her hands instinctively went for her blade. It took
her a moment to find it because she was shaking so badly. Then when she did
she just allowed her hand to rest on the cool metal of the blade. Never let him
hurt me again. Never. Revenir swerved around to face her.
“And who might you be?” he asked, relaxing when he saw that it was only a young
girl that had called his name. It was weird how she just sort of appeared out of
nowhere though.
“You don’t remember me?” Blackfire asked. This was something that she was not
prepared for. It was like a slap in the face through her fear. He had ruined her
life and he couldn’t even remember her name. Then the truth tackled Blackfire as
she stood facing the man that she feared the most. All of these years. . . she
had been doing the very thing that she had been trying to prevent. She had been
hurting the very thing that she wanted to save. She had been letting this guy
win.
“Should I remember you?” Revenir asked. There was no question about it, Revenir
was a powerful man. But the day that Revenir decided to start messing with
children, some God somewhere grew cold. And sometimes people get exactly what
they deserve.
Blaze frowned when he saw that the other person that he had sensed was a young
girl. He didn’t want anyone who could get hurt involved. And he knew just how
dangerous Revenir was. He knew that he had probably killed hundreds of people.
This girl didn’t stand a chance. But, something stopped Blaze from jumping into
action. Something in the girl’s voice. There was more here than meets the eye
and Blaze intended to find out what was going on before he threw himself in the
middle of it. The girl was pale and shaking as she walked out to face Revenir.
Blaze briefly wondered why he hadn’t detected her before. Usually his telepathic
abilities allowed him to be aware of everyone around him. And that brought Blaze
to another question. Who was this girl and how long had she been following
Revenir? Blaze studied her face closely as she was talking to Revenir. Suddenly
it seemed as though her whole attitude had changed. Her eyes narrowed and her
jaw was set. She didn’t look like the same person that had been before him. It
was then that Blaze realized that this girl could seriously screw up his plans.
Blackfire’s head pounded with anger. How dare he not remember her? How dare he?
Any fear that she had felt before vanished as she felt her anger grow. Little
did Revenir know that he had just sealed his fate.
“Well, I was a little younger when you saw me last,” she sneered.
“Oh, you’re one of those,” Revenir said with a sinister smile. “Tell me, my
dear, did you come back for more?” Blackfire felt her blood boil.
“I came back for something,” she said, her eyes never leaving his. They were the
same as all of their eyes, yet his eyes bothered her so much more. Right now she
wanted to rip them from their sockets so they would never torture her again.
“Oh, don’t be like that,” Revenir said, obviously not disturbed in the least by
her anger, “you know you liked it.” Blackfire then realized the horrible truth.
. . his eyes. . . all of their eyes. . . were dead. It was like they had crossed
some boundary and could never return. They could never be human again.
“You will pay for what you did,” Blackfire said.
“My dear, are you crying?” Revenir asked. He was laughing at her. She had
suffered the ultimate humiliation and he was laughing at her. She felt her
sanity crack.
Through his laughter, Revenir happened to glance down at Blackfire’s hands for
the first time. He abruptly stopped laughing and his face held a look of shock.
He couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked like her hands were glowing black.
“Damn you to hell,” she raged. Revenir took a step back from her. If only he had
known, he wouldn’t have antagonized her. Her eyes looked all black. . . or maybe
it was the shade. But Revenir clearly saw the glint of the blade in Blackfire’s
hand. And as the fire swarmed up to lick his face, the man known as Revenir knew
fear.
Blaze was in shock at first. It looked like this girl, whoever she was, was
looking for revenge too. He decided to just let her do the job for him. He saw
the blade in her hand and began to have second thoughts. Then, when Revenir told
her that she liked it, Blaze knew that this girl would not stop until Revenir
was dead. And a part of Blaze wanted to just sit back and let her do it. He
almost wanted the man dead as much as Blackfire did. But it was not for him to
decide. He couldn’t take someone’s life into his own hands, no matter how evil
they were. Blaze never really did stay on the right side of the law. In fact, he
was a thief. But stealing something was completely different in Blaze’s mind
than killing someone. Almost against his will, Blaze forced himself to walk out
of the shadows.
“Chere, don’t kill him,” he said, keeping his eyes on the girl’s hands. Revenir
was down on the ground, badly burnt. But he was breathing. And Blaze decided
that he deserved the pain. Blackfire jumped at the sound of his voice and turned
around to meet his gaze. Blaze gulped. She looked like she had completely
snapped.
“Who are you? How do you know this man?” Blackfire demanded, studying Blaze to
see what she was up against.
“Da name is Blaze an’ I come to see dis man locked up. He hurt a good friend o'
mine.” Blackfire turned back to Revenir.
“Then you should just let me kill him,” she told Blaze. Blaze spoke gently,
hoping to sway the girl without even having to get physical.
“No can do, petite,” he said. “Who might you be anyway?”
“I’m Blackfire,” Blackfire told him. “Look, Blaze, it’s nice that you’re trying
to get Revenir put away, but I have bigger plans for the prick.” Blaze sighed.
This was going to be harder than he thought. But, he was always cool, calm, and
collected. He wasn’t about to blow up at her now.
“I can’t let ya do that, chere,” Blaze answered. Blackfire glared at him, her
eyes never leaving his.
“Then I guess I’ll just have to stop you too,” she told him.
Josh waited out in the car and tried to listen to the radio. He had never been
so worried before. It usually didn’t take Sharon that long to kill them. What if
she had been too afraid? The thought of Revenir hurting her again was too much
for him to even think about. It would be like his father coming after him again,
something which Josh vowed he would never let happen again. And, though what
Sharon was doing was good in a way, it seemed to him that she could be putting
her powers to better use. Plus, he really didn’t want to see his best friend in
jail for murder. This will be the last one, he told himself. I know it will. And
she is still the same. Josh checked the clock again as he waited. If she didn’t
get back soon, he decided that he would go after her. He would go up in flames
for Sharon if it was necessary. And it seemed as though it might be. Her fire
was destroying her from the inside out and that bothered him. But, he knew that
she still had control. Besides, she had never hurt an innocent person. . . .
“Now why would ya want ta hurt me?” Blaze asked, with a charming smile. But
inside he was prepared for anything.
“Look, buddy,” Blackfire said with clenched fists, “either step back or die.”
Blaze raised his eyebrows in surprise. She was serious. She really would kill
him if he didn’t let her kill this man. In a way it was sad. But, more than sad
it was frightening.
“I ain’t leavin’,” Blaze told Blackfire. “An’ I plan ta put Revenir in jail.”
He waited for her to make the first move and was not disappointed. The burst of
flame shocked him for a split second, and then he teleported into the shadows,
appearing behind her instead. But she heard him, and swerved around to meet him,
her eyes shining with hatred. Blackfire prepared to shoot more fire, but Blaze
had his kinetic energy shards ready this time. He dove out of the way of the
fire and threw a shard at Blackfire. She gasped as it exploded beside her,
knocking her off balance. Blackfire thought that he had just missed her, but
Blaze had actually missed her on purpose. He didn’t plan to hurt Blackfire
unless he simply had no choice. He jumped behind her once she was down and
quickly grabbed her wrists, pinning her arms behind her. She struggled violently
for a few minutes and then was still.
“You got problems, girl,” Blaze told her. “But that don’t mean you can’t just
kill whoever ya want. Ya ain’t the law. Dis ends here.”
Blackfire felt a hopeless feeling grip her as Blaze held her hands behind her
back. She had never felt so out of control. She didn’t care about anything but
killing Revenir. And if she had to go through Blaze to do that then so be it.
She glanced at where Revenir had fallen as Blaze held her in his grasp. Revenir
was badly burnt, but he was still alive. He was weakly getting to his feet and
preparing to escape as Blaze was occupied with holding her back. Blackfire was
seething at the thought that Revenir might get away. And it was all the cajun’s
fault. Without thinking, Blackfire concentrated and let the fire go. It’s ebony
flames shot out in all directions with force enough to kill an average man. As
it was, it was enough to throw Blaze off of her. As she stood over Blaze’s burnt
body, she thought about what she told Josh. When she had first decided that she
needed to kill, Blackfire had swore to Josh that she would never, under any
circumstance, hurt an innocent person. Now she was looking down at a man she had
destroyed for simply getting in her way. Then Blackfire allowed self-hatred to
consume her. Swallowing her guilt, she turned around and saw that Revenir was
getting away.
“This is all your fault!” she yelled as she jumped on his fleeing form. But she
knew that that wasn’t completely true. Even Revenir could not be blamed for her
burning Blaze. Revenir just stared at her, wide eyed.
“Please. . .,” he said. “I’ll give you anything you want!” Blackfire glared
into the face of her nightmare.
“I want you dead,” she told him. Revenir’s features suddenly changed when he saw
that it was hopeless.
“Fuck you then, bitch,” he told her. “If I could I would do it again.” Blackfire
clutched the dagger and drew it back to strike.
“Intoxicated with the madness. I’m in love with my sadness.” –Billy Corgan
Blaze didn’t know what hit him at first. He had been concentrating so hard on
keeping Blackfire’s hands back that he totally forgot about her mutant power. It
had caught him off guard. He mumbled a curse as he waited for his healing factor
to kick in. He knew that without it he would be a dead man. As it was he was
very pissed. Blackfire was going to get it now. He got to his feet before he was
really ready, and the world shook around him for a minute, making him dizzy. But
Blaze was a stubborn man. He stayed on his feet when he should have fallen back
down. And, through his pain, he tried to focus his vision so that he could find
Blackfire. He could hear the sound of screaming, but it sounded so far away.
Blaze figured that the loss of blood was having an effect on his hearing. It
just made him more furious. And the screaming was so loud. . . it didn’t sound
human. Blaze knew that he had to get to Blackfire—fast! He took an unsteady
step, and stumbled forward, cursing the whole way. This was not how it was
supposed to happen. Everything was going wrong. And he didn’t even know if he
was able to fix it. Blackfire’s presence was something that he hadn’t counted
on, and her power shook him to the core. The only place he had ever seen power
so openly displayed like that was somewhere far away. And he didn’t need to
think about that right now. He needed to think about stopping Blackfire before
she killed Revenir.
Josh had waited long enough. He was tired of waiting. It seemed like he had
waited all of his life. . . praying to someone that things would somehow get
better. But, instead they seemed to just get worse and worse. And Josh was tired
of it. He really didn’t know what to think of Sharon. But, he did remember that
she had saved him before, from his father. And he wouldn’t hesitate to return
the favor. Josh did not think that he was a courageous man. He had always hidden
from danger, it was just his way. And he was not a violent man by any means.
Maybe that was why he so quickly agreed to Sharon’s plan. It was like he was
getting out all of his anger that he had always held back. It was a small
victory in Josh’s mind every time she killed someone. But, unlike Sharon, Josh
saw the flaw in her plan. And he knew that unless it stopped, her own rage would
destroy her. Josh wanted to help Sharon, but he didn’t think he was a courageous
man. He thought of Revenir and the fear that he had installed in Sharon.
Probably many others too. Gritting his teeth together, Josh reached for the gun
that he had hidden in the back seat. I guess everyone has courage in them, some
just have to dig deeper to find it.
Blackfire plunged the blade in again and again. The blood sprayed up in her
face and on her clothes. Revenir screamed again as the blade was hammered into
his eye.
“You’ll never hurt anyone again!” Blackfire screamed at him. She allowed the
fire to shoot out of her hands, burning his face and chest. Even after he was
still, she kept stabbing. Even when she knew for certain that he was dead.
Because something was terribly wrong. Tears streamed down her face as she found
that she didn’t feel any different. Revenge didn’t make the pain go away. She
stopped stabbing and stared down at Revenir’s lifeless body. And she asked
herself if it was worth it. All of the years she had spent in a silent war. All
of the times that he had dreamed of this moment. And she felt no different. With
these thoughts scurrying through her mind, Blackfire suddenly fell to the
ground, drowning in the darkness.
Blaze felt like he might be sick as he looked down at Revenir’s body. There was
not an inch of him that wasn’t horribly burnt. Then he looked down at Blackfire,
who he had knocked unconscious by a careful hit to the back of her head. How
could this have happened, he wondered. He remembered how long Revenir had
screamed. His death must have been very slow and extremely painful. Then Blaze
was faced with the bitter truth. He had failed. For some reason, he felt
responsible for the events that had taken place. It wasn’t supposed to happen
like this. He was supposed to have stopped Blackfire and put Revenir in jail.
But the reason he felt so bad was not because Revenir was in jail, it was
because he knew that he had to turn Blackfire in.
“You brought dis on yourself, chere,” Blaze said out loud. All of the anger that
he had felt before was replaced by pity for Blackfire. She was a very misguided
soul. Blaze bent down and pulled Blackfire up, swinging her over his shoulder.
“Time for you ta have a lil’ visit wit’ a good friend o’ mine,” Blaze told her,
knowing that she couldn’t answer him even if he wanted her to. Then the man
known as Blaze walked away from the murder scene, and towards the police
station.
Josh almost tripped over Revenir as he was searching for his best friend. He
stared down at his body, and threw up. He couldn’t even control himself. He had
never seen anything as gruesome in his 15 years. As he turned away from Revenir,
he wondered where the hell Sharon could have gone. He had to find her. He felt
like his emotions were crushing him. And he wanted to know that she would never
kill again. Yes, more than anything, he wanted Sharon to look him in the eyes
and tell him that it was over. That she was okay again and they could go back to
normal. Whatever normal was. Their lives had never been normal. And, standing
near Revenir’s charred and blistered body, Josh thought that they probably would
never be.
“Sharon!” he suddenly screamed. “Sharon, where are you?” Then, he stopped
screaming as he felt his pulse quicken. He had heard footsteps, he was sure of
it. And from the noise, it sounded like more than one person. And alarm went off
in Josh’s head when he realized that his worst fears had come true. She had been
caught. Josh didn’t have time to consider his options. He threw himself behind
the biggest tree he could find and took a deep breath, hoping against hope that
they didn’t already know he was there. How had this happened? It had been a
flawless plan. Unfortunately, Josh had failed to think about people like Blaze
as he was planning. And as he watched the police men look over Revenir’s black
form, he knew that he would have to do everything in his power to save Sharon.
He was her only hope.
~(a few days later)~
Blackfire’s hand went up to touch the collar around her neck. She knew that it
prevented her from using her mutant powers, but she could care less. She was in
a padded cell of a mental hospital. That’s what they think I am, she thought.
Some crazy psycho. Blackfire didn’t even want to think about what she thought
she was herself. Insider her, the only thought that gave her any comfort was
that Josh hadn’t been caught. That put a part of her mind at ease because if
they did to him what they were doing to her, she was sure that he would have
killed himself. The shock treatment and the medication made it very hard for
Blackfire to think clearly. But she could think enough to know that even if she
wasn’t crazy when she got in here, spending time in this place would eventually
drive anyone crazy.
Though she wouldn’t admit it then, Blackfire was also glad that Blaze hadn’t
died. She should have known that he wouldn’t be that easy to kill. She should
have counted on it. But her anger had blinded her. And though Blackfire was
angry at Blaze for turning her in, a part of her couldn’t really blame him.
“Miss Stokes, would you like a bathroom break?” a nurse asked as she walked
into her room. Blackfire got up without any emotion. She had already tried to
escape several times and was punished severely for it. She couldn’t decide what
was worse about this place; the people that were constantly looking in on her or
the other patients. Now she was caged in like some kind of animal. The doctors
watched her as though they were studying her and trying to figure out why she
did the things she did. She didn’t bother telling them that they could never
understand unless they experienced it themselves. Even she didn’t understand why
she did it. She didn’t expect them to.
Blaze sat beside Jacob as he tried to clear his thoughts and get everything
sorted out.
“You mean to tell me that Revenir is dead?” Jacob asked, his gaze never leaving
his hands.
“Oui, mon ami,” Blaze answered. “Dis girl named Blackfire came and killed ‘em
before I even got a chance. She almost killed me too.” Jacob didn’t know what to
think. He was dead. He would never be able to hurt him again. And Jacob felt an
overwhelming feeling of relief sweep over him. It was over.
Blaze studied his friends face, trying in vain to read his mind. He wasn’t sure
how Jacob was going to react to the information that he had just received. Blaze
felt like he had let his friend down in some way by not putting Revenir in jail.
And he also felt like he had let him down by turning Blackfire in. He didn’t
know why, it was just something in Jacob’s tone when he said:
“Where is she now?”
“Who?” Blaze asked, even though he knew the answer.
“The girl who saved me. Blackfire.” That was it. Jacob had said exactly what he
felt without really having to say it. The girl who saved me. Jacob felt like he
owed Blackfire for killing this monster that had haunted him for so long.
“She in de mental hospital, I think,” Blaze answered cautiously.
“That sucks,” Jacob answered, looking Blaze in the eye.
“Oui, I didn’t wanna do it,” Blaze told him. “But I had to.”
“Because?” Jacob asked.
“Because it was de right thing ta do,” Blaze answered stiffly.
“No, Blaze,” Jacob answered. “You could have just walked away. That was the
right thing to do.”
Blaze sighed as he sat alone, smoking a cigarette. He wasn’t sure what was
right and what was wrong anymore. Sometimes there was a real fine line dividing
the two. Blaze had told the truth, he did hate turning Blackfire in. But he was
only doing what he believed what right at the time. How could it be wrong? He
had seen it for himself, she had been out of control. And she hadn’t hesitated
from injuring him to get to what she wanted. Blaze usually hated people like
that. So, why was he feeling so guilty right now? I did it because she would
have killed again, he told himself. I did it for her own good and to protect the
innocent. But, if he was so sure that he was right then why was he sitting here
trying to convince himself that he was? He knew the reason. It was because,
after talking to Jacob, Blaze understood where the anger came from. Jacob had
told him that in many ways, Blackfire was a hero. With every person she killed,
she had saved dozens of others from being molested. But Blaze didn’t think that
Blackfire was even aware of this as she was killing. He thought that she did it
because she was angry. No, he thought that she did it because she was afraid.
And every time she killed someone, instead of becoming more afraid, she became
less afraid. She became obsessed with the small amount of relief she felt right
after she killed. Then, when she went after the man who did it to her. Blaze
finally admitted to himself that the reason he thought he was wrong was because
he was sure that Revenir would have been her last. Something about the way her
shoulders slumped once she realized that he was dead. When the truth that she
was wrong dawned on her. What de hell is wrong with me? Blaze asked himself. Why
was he sitting here brooding about this when he could be doing something about
it? Standing up, he decided that he wanted to have a talk with a certain
Hellfire King.
Blackfire bit her lip to stop the scream as the nurse pushed a abnormally
looking needle in her arm.
“This one will be out in five minutes,” the nurse yelled out. Through the fog
of the drugs, Blackfire could hear other mental patients yelling and screaming,
some were even sobbing loudly. She saw one patient being restrained as he
screamed at the top of his lungs. Another was on all fours, trying desperately
to get away. Blackfire decided that this was the worst place on earth as she
tried to fight against the curtain that was trying to envelop her mind. Her own
personal hell. But the part that made her the most sick was that she thought she
deserved every minute of it. Blackfire felt a false peaceful feeling color her
world as she allowed the drugs to take over and fell asleep.
“It looks like freedom but it feels like death, it’s something in between, I
guess.” –Leonard Cohen
Josh didn’t hesitate as he knocked on the huge door. There was no time for him
to think. Besides, if he started thinking now he might realize what a stupid
plan this was. Stupid enough to get him killed. Stupid enough to work. He
swallowed his doubts as he saw the door open in front of him. This had better
work, he told himself, because this is my last hope. He cleared his throat as
the young man who answered the door gave him a questioning look.
“I would like to speak to Ryan Jensen,” Josh told him, straightening his
shoulders as though that would make him look more important. “Please,” he added
when the man didn’t move to do as he wished.
“And who might you be?” he asked, with no expression on his face. He was dressed
in an attire that suggested that he was Ryan’s Rook.
“I’m. . . my name is Josh Hayes,” Josh told him. “And I’ve come to tell Ryan
some very important news.” Hazard gave Josh a false smile.
“The Red King is very busy,” he told him. “And we already know all of the
information that we need to know. I seriously doubt that someone like you could
possibly tell us of anything that would be of any importance.”
Though he was still smiling, Josh could feel his arrogance as he looked down on
him. Snobs, he thought. Just what I need. What Josh really wanted right then was
to spit on his pretty red shoes and leave. He didn’t want to deal with this
crap. Hadn’t he already been through enough without this man snubbing him
because he wasn’t rich and powerful. But then he remembered Sharon. He owed her
this last thing, and then he would be even. Josh had a thing for being even. He
never liked to feel like he owed any kind of debt to anyone over anything. And
he really felt like he owed her more than he could pay.
“I promise you it will be worth your time,” Josh said in what he hoped was a
believable voice. For all he knew, Ryan could care less about this and would
kill him on the spot. And from what Josh had heard of the man, he not only would
do something like that, but would enjoy it. Hazard rolled his eyes.
“Look, Joe,” he began.
“Josh,” he corrected her.
“Look, Josh,” he corrected herself, obviously angry now. “The last thing Ryan
needs are people like you interrupting his schedule for some petty information
that he probably already knows in the hopes of money.”
“No, I don’t want any money,” Josh quickly said. “I just. . . I need his help.”
“Oh, and what makes you think that the Red King Ryan Jensen would go out of his
way to help someone such as yourself?” Hazard was pissed, though it was more at
security than at Josh. They were supposed to handle situations like this, not
him. He had more important things to do with his time than try and deal with
some kid off of the street.
“Hey, what’s going on here?” asked a man with brownish-blonde hair and clear
green eyes.
“Nothing, Jamie,” Hazard answered. “I’m just getting rid of a pest. You know,
one of those people who want a favor.” Jamie Madrox, the Red Bishop, studied
Josh for a second and then turned back to Hazard.
“Let me handle this,” he said with a charming smile. Hazard rolled his eyes
again and then walked away, leaving Jamie to deal with Josh.
“He’s not usually like that,” Jamie told Josh. “I think he’s just having a bad
day. He’s really very nice once you get to know him.”
“I’m sure,” Josh answered, though it was obvious from his tone that he didn’t
believe Jamie at all.
“Won’t you come in,” Jamie asked, motioning for Josh to enter the grand mansion
where Ryan dwelled. Josh hesitated for a second, then decided that Jamie seemed
friendly enough and entered.
“So, what do you want anyway?” Jamie asked Josh as he led him down the hall.
Josh cleared his throat as he tried not to stare at the huge mansion. He had
never seen so many expensive things in his life. He briefly wondered if he was
in way over his head.
“I wanted to speak to Ryan Jensen,” Josh answered, trying to keep the
uncertainty out of his voice and failing. Jamie’s face clouded for a second but
he quickly hid his displeasure.
“What for?” he pressed.
“I know of a person named Blackfire who has great power that Ryan might be
interested in,” Josh told him. Jamie stopped walked and turned abruptly to Josh.
“Do you know what you’re getting into?” he asked. It was as though his features
had totally transformed. He looked dangerous and menacing where he had looked
cheerful and easy going.
“What?” Josh managed to sputter though his surprise.
“Is this person a friend of yours?” Jamie asked, his eyes boring into Josh’s.
“Yes,” Josh answered meekly. He knew then that Ryan Jensen wasn’t the only
powerful man in this building.
“Then I would advise for you to leave,” Jamie told him.
“What? I. . . I can’t,” Josh told him. “She’s in trouble. . . I have to help
her. I wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t my last resort.” Jamie turned away
from Josh, realizing that his attempt to save the boy were futile.
“Then I really hope you know what you’re doing,” he told him.
“What do you mean?” Josh asked. He felt incredibly confused. Jamie seemed to be
trying to warn him, as though he had experienced something horrible and was
trying to save Josh from experiencing the same thing.
“With Ryan. . . he’s a powerful man,” Jamie said. He was obviously upset about
something, but Josh had no idea what.
“I know,” Josh answered. “Like I said. . . I had no choice.” Jamie led him to
another door and raised his hand to knock on it.
“Good luck then,” Jamie said. “I’m sure I’ll see you again.”
Josh turned to watched Jamie leave, questions still running through his mind.
What was Jamie talking about? Should he leave? What about Sharon? He couldn’t
just do nothing? But, would asking for Ryan’s help make things even worse for
her? Josh chewed on his bottom lip as he tried to make up his mind. He did it
quickly. He had to do something, even if it was the wrong thing. He walked into
the room, feeling like a fly walking into a spider’s web. You shouldn’t be here,
his mind kept telling him. I have to be, Josh told his mind.
“You have a lot of nerve to bother me, boy,” came a growl from the other side of
the dimly lit room. Josh felt his heart hammer in his chest. He was here, facing
one of the most powerful men in the world. And he was completely at Ryan’s mercy
if Ryan decided that he didn’t want to help him.
“Hello,” he said in a very small voice. “My name is Josh Hayes.”
“I know your name, boy, get on with it!” Ryan snapped. “I don’t have all day.”
Josh squinted in the hazy room to make out Ryan’s shape so that he could put a
face with the voice. But, for some reason, he was very well hidden in the
shadows. All Josh could really see was that he was wearing a dark red suit. He
stopped trying as he continued with what he came here for.
“I know of a mutant who contains great power,” he said slowly. He paused, more
to see if Ryan would respond that for effect.
“Go on,” Ryan said. His voice sounded slightly less annoyed, and Josh took this
as a good sign. Stumbling over his words, he pressed on.
“Well, her name is Sharon, but she goes by Blackfire. She’s a mutant, I’m pretty
sure and she has great power. She killed people though, so she’s in the mental
hospital.” He stopped and tried to calm down. It will be okay, he told himself.
But why were Jamie’s words haunting his thoughts?
“What are her powers?” Ryan asked, and Josh noticed that he shifted slightly in
his chair.
“Well, she can heal. . . herself as well as others. And she can control fire.
She makes her own fire too, it’s black. She told me that it was her anger.”
Ryan was silent a few moments as Josh assumed he was thinking about what he just
said.
“And what do you want me to do about this?” Ryan asked.
“Well, I want you to get her out of the mental hospital,” Josh answered.
“What would I get in return?” Ryan asked.
Jamie Madrox put his hand against the wall and tried to calm down. He knew that
Ryan was going to take advantage of this situation. It was just like him to do
something like that. Similarly to how Ryan was using Jamie himself for his own
needs. Jamie just hated to see it happen again to someone so young. He sighed
bitterly and muttered a curse.
“What’s wrong, mon ami?” came the heavy cajun accent that could only be Blaze.
“Nothing, Blaze,” Jamie answered. “I just. . . a kid came in and wanted Ryan’s
help and it got me worked up.” Blaze’s smile quickly turned into a frown.
“A kid?” he asked. “How old?” He decided against telling Jamie that he had just
been on his way to see Ryan himself.
“I don’t know. A teenager. He wants Ryan’s help with rescuing a friend of his.”
“A friend?” Blaze asked.
“Yeah,” Jamie replied. “Someone who goes by the name of Blackfire.” Blaze felt
the shock slap him in the face.
“Bl-Blackfire?” he stuttered.
“Yeah,” Jamie muttered, too caught up in his own thoughts to notice the change
in his friend’s face.
“Okay, dat’s. . .weird,” Blaze said. He couldn’t believe his luck! Someone who
wanted to get Blackfire out of the mental hospital. It was exactly what Blaze
had been going to talk to Ryan about. Now was his chance to feel better about
what happened. Now that he understood where Blackfire was coming from, he wanted
to free her, even if she had hurt him.
“Yeah, pretty weird,” Jamie agreed absent-mindedly as he turned to leave.
“See ya ‘round, mon ami,” Blaze told him.
“Yeah,” Jamie answered. “See ya, Blaze.”
“My men are very busy and I do not go on rescue missions like this myself,”
Ryan told Josh. “So I really don’t think I should waste my time talking to you.”
Josh felt like he was breaking as he felt his last chance slip through the
cracks.
“I don’t even know how you got as far as you did without being caught,” Ryan
added as he made a mental note to execute the guards that were on duty.
“Ryan, please,” Josh whispered.
“Begging will do you no good, boy. I already told you, I have no one who would
be willing to go to save your companion.” Josh turned away, realized that if he
started arguing it would just make the Red King more angry.
“I’d go,” came a voice from the shadows. Josh jumped, surprised that there was
another man in the room. He had been positive that he and Ryan were alone
before. He had no idea where this man came from.
“Blaze,” Ryan said. “How dare you intrude on my conversation?’
“Sorry,” Blaze apologized as he stepped out of the shadows and stood beside
Josh. “I jus’ heard Jamie talkin’ ‘bout this boy’s friend and I t’ink it would
be the perfect t’ing for a good ole Cajun boy. I wanted ta catch you before you
sent this boy on his way.” Josh just stared at Blaze, amazed at this Cajun
savior who had just appeared in the shadows. Ryan sighed in annoyance.
“Fine,” he said, waving his hand to dismiss Josh and Blaze. Blaze grinned over
at Josh as he led the way out of the room.
“Why are you doing this?” Josh asked, still in shock that his plan had actually
worked. He had actually found someone powerful who was willing to help him. It
was almost too good to be true.
“Well, why not?” Blaze asked with a shrug. He wasn’t about to tell Josh how
much he really wanted to do that. He doubted the young man would appreciate the
fact that he was the one who turned Blackfire in. Yet, at the same time Blaze
felt like he had done nothing wrong. He was only doing what he thought was right
at the time. So, Blaze didn’t plan to hide the trust from Josh, he just wouldn’t
tell him unless Josh specifically asked. Unfortunately, Josh was wise beyond
his years and could see that Blaze wasn’t telling him all that he knew.
“Do you know Blackfire?” he asked suspiciously. Blaze blinked back his shock,
surprised that Josh had so quickly hit the nail on the head. Then, grumbling, he
turned to Josh.
“Yeah, I knew her,” he admitted. Might as well get this over with. “In fact, I
was de one who turned her in.” Now it was Josh’s turn to be shocked and he had a
lot more trouble hiding it than Blaze. Blaze tried hard not to break into a
smile while staring at Josh’s bewildered face.
“Then. . . why are you saving her?” Josh asked.
“Let’s jus’ say I understand where she be comin’ from,” Blaze answered as he
put on his trench coat over his black t-shirt. Then Blaze turned back to Josh.
“You can’t come wit’ me, ya know,” he told him simply. “Dis Cajun prefers ta
work solo.”
“Yeah, I know,” Josh answered. And he was okay with that. He felt like he had
done all that he needed to be done. Everything felt even in his mind now.
“Tell Blackfire I said thanks,” Josh told Blaze. Blaze said nothing, but nodded
to show that he heard and shook Josh’s hand briefly. He wondered if Josh had any
idea what he had just done. Blackfire would owe Ryan heavily for breaking her
out of the mental hospital. That was the only thing that really bothered Blaze.
But, he decided not to worry about that right now. It was Ryan’s business. He
would free the girl, that would be enough. Blaze jumped on his motorcycle as he
made his way to rescue Blackfire.
The first thing that greeted Blaze as he slipped out of the shadows was the
scent of alcohol. It had been fairly easy to figure out which mental institution
Blackfire was being held in. There weren’t many mental hospitals in the area,
and one in particular stood out in his mind. The Weisman Institute For The
Criminally Insane was Blaze’s first guess, and he was right on the money. The
institution had heavy security, but that was no problem for a man who could move
in and out of the shadows. He waited until dark, because then he wouldn’t have
to worry as much about possibly being seen. The last thing he wanted was to have
to take out more people than necessary. Now he slipped behind a secretary and
painlessly knocked her out cold. Not for the first time, Blaze was thankful for
his heavy training in martial arts. He moves so silently that he almost didn’t
need the shadows. And these poor people wouldn’t stand a chance if they happened
to discover him anyway. Blaze moved the unconscious secretary out of the way and
sat in front of the computer. It also took him a minute to find that Blackfire
was located on the first floor in a room with heavy security. He had learned her
real name from Josh just for this purpose. He briefly read how the doctors
should approach her with caution because she was a killer and obviously very
mentally unbalanced. Blaze smiled to himself. “Too bad dat de heavy security
will be non good ‘gainst dis Cajun,” he thought.
His shadow sliding ability allowed him to teleport for up to three miles, so it
was really no problem. He was in the room in two minutes at the most. He waited
a few seconds in the shadows for his eyes to get adjusted to the dimly lit room.
He finally saw her on a small, white bed, strapped down. There was a collar
around her neck that he knew stopped her from using her mutant powers. He walked
up to her softly and touched her shoulder. She showed no response, so he shook
her a little harder. That’s when her eyes opened. Blaze felt a shudder go
through his body when he saw how lifeless they were. He knew that some of it
must have been due to the drugs that the doctors were giving her, but not all of
it. It was like she had given up all hope.
Blaze waved his hand in front of Blackfire’s face. “Psst, chere,” he whispered.
“Sorry ta wake you from your beauty sleep, but we gotta get outta here fast.”
Blackfire’s eyes didn’t change. She just stared at the ceiling.
“Hey!” Blaze hissed a little louder. “Zombie girl! Wake the Hell up!” He tried
lightly slapping her face but that didn’t work either. “Ah, who needs you
anyway,” he mumbled as he placed his hands on the metal straps that were binding
her to the bed.
“I’m gonna do dis wit or wit’out ya!” He concentrated on the straps and watched
as they started to glow with kinetic energy. “Dis might sting a little,” he told
Blackfire, even though she obviously wasn’t paying attention to what was going
on. The straps exploded and the noise echoed off of the walls, making Blaze grit
his teeth. He had forgotten how loud it could be. Now he really had to hurry
before security got there.
He easily picked Blackfire up. He may have been thin, but his muscles were very
well developed from his years of training. Blackfire proved to be no problem. He
could hear security pounding on the door as he quickly teleported himself and
Blackfire through the shadows. He resisted saying a smart-ass remark to the
guards as he saw them break through the door. No doubt they wouldn’t be happy
when they say that their patient was missing.
“Doesn’t she ever talk?” Jamie Madrox asked. He and Blaze were standing near the
bed that they had placed Blackfire in. As soon as she had arrived, they had
removed the collar and decided to let her sleep off the drugs. She had been
“sleeping” for almost two days now.
“Uhm. . . I dunno,” Blaze answered. Ryan was not going to be happy about this.
He was supposed to bring back a very powerful mutant, not a vegetable. Jamie was
thinking the same thing and was much more vocal about it.
“Ryan’s gonna be pissed,” he said. “He’s gonna kill her if he sees that she’s
like this.” Though Blaze knew that it was true, he still felt mildly surprised
when he heard Jamie say it.
“What can we do?” Blaze asked.
“Well, there’s been more than enough time for the drugs to wear off,” Jamie
said. “So, if she’s there at all, she’s just playing dumb. I say we wake her
up.”
“How do we do dat?” Blaze asked. He had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like
this idea.
“Let’s undress her and throw her in the pool! That would wake anyone up!” Jamie
said. Blaze chuckled softly.
“Seriously,” he said.
“I have no idea,” Jamie admitted. “I was hoping maybe you would know.”
“Me? Non. Dis Cajun is clueless.”
“Well, that sucks!” Jamie said, her gaze going back to Blackfire. Then his eyes
lit up. He wasn’t sure, but he thought it might work.
“Did that boy ever come back?” he asked Blaze.
“What boy?” Blaze asked, confused by the question.
“You know, that kid, what was his name? Josh.” They both noticed Blackfire stir
in the bed. Jamie and Blaze looked at each other. “Bingo,” Jamie whispered.
“Non, but he did say for me ta tell Blackfire something,” Blaze answered. “Too
bad she ain’t awake to hear it.”
“You know I’m awake,” Blackfire said as she sat up in the bed. Aside from being
very pale, she looked pretty healthy. Blaze grinned down at her.
“Glad ta have you back,” he told her. Jamie Madrox crossed his arms and grinned
triumphantly.
“I knew it would work,” he whispered to Blaze.
“Josh tol’ me ta tell you thanks,” Blaze told Blackfire. Blackfire tried to
stand up, but ended up sitting back down. That meant a lot more than Blaze knew.
That meant that Josh was never coming back. He considered them even, so he went
on his way. The thought was almost too much for her to bear but she slowly
accepted it. Perhaps it was better for him that way. Blackfire looked up at the
man who had turned her in in the first place and then later rescued her and the
other handsome man with the green eyes.
“So, what now?” she asked either of them or both of them.
“Now?” Jamie asked. “Now’s where the real adventure begins.” He helped her out
of the bed and she wondered what she had just gotten herself into.
“Maybe you got something, but the flowers grew back.” –Heather Nova
Iceblade held his head as a mild headache started forming. It always happened
when they both used their telepathic link for too long. He remembered how they
used to communicate in class with it, and had even cheated on tests on numerous
occasions. Of course, he had always been the one supplying the answers but that
didn’t seem to matter as much now. Iceblade had always been a fairly easy going
guy. Most of the time he was relaxed and his emotions had never really been
much of a problem. Until now. Now he was feeling so many different emotions and
they were all threatening to drive him crazy. He shook his blonde hair to try
and make sense of it all. Blackfire opened her eyes, her hand going to her head
to relieve her own headache.
“I just. . . I decided to stop there. I let you see the part that really
mattered.” Iceblade gulped back some what he was feeling so that he would be
able to speak.
“Did you ever see Josh again?” he asked. He remembered Josh. That was the
really weird part. He remembered how Josh used to go over to their house after
school. He was Sharon’s only friend, pretty much and Michael had always thought
it was weird. Josh had always been different. But he had never held it against
him or anything, who was he to judge? But it was scary to Iceblade to think that
all of the time that he had known Josh, he had been beaten by his father. It
almost made him angry at himself for not knowing. He should have known. He
should have looked closer and tried to get to know Josh better. But he hadn’t.
People can be so selfish.
“No,” Blackfire answered with a far away look in her eyes. “I never saw him
again.”
“That’s sad,” Iceblade answered. “He was your best friend.”
“Yes he was,” Blackfire agreed. “I cared for him very deeply. And that’s
exactly why I didn’t try to find him. I almost ruined his life before, I didn’t
want to risk doing it again.” She was wrong, but he understood why she felt that
way.
“You never know,” was all he said. Blackfire seemed calm on the outside but on
the inside she was chaotic. What was he thinking? Did he think she was a
monster? Did he wish he hadn’t come here? Did he hate her for not trying to find
Josh? Was it her fault? Was she to blame for everything that happened. She had
always believed that she was.
“Sharon,” Iceblade said, looking at her suddenly.
“Yeah, Michael?” she asked, looking back at him with tortured eyes.
“I just. . . I want you to know that I don’t hate you. I. . . I think you’re
very. . . brave. I mean. . . I wish I had that kind of strength. All of those
things happened, yeah. And you did bad things. But, we’ve all got something. And
look at you now. I just. . . I think you should be free. And I don’t think it
was your fault. . . what happened to you, I mean. It wasn’t your fault.”
Blackfire shut her eyes to hold in the tears. She felt Iceblade’s hand on her
shoulder.
“Never be afraid to cry,” he whispered, “that shows true courage.” As the tears
slid down, Blackfire opened her eyes again. He was right. Look at her now. She
never would have thought in her wildest dreams that she would be where she was.
The White Queen. Just the name meant power.
“Then. . . you forgive me?” Blackfire asked in a voice laced with the emotion
she felt.
“Sharon,” Iceblade said, “I forgave you a long time ago. This isn’t about me
forgiving you. It’s about you forgiving yourself. That’s what I want to know.
Do you forgive yourself?” Blackfire’s thoughts were suddenly brought back to
little Bobby as he stared at her in her blood covered clothes. “You can kill and
you can heal.” It was up to her to decide which one she needed to do. But, she
couldn’t keep beating herself up for things that she did. There was nothing she
could do to change it now, and if she could. . . she didn’t think she would.
“Yes, I do,” she whispered. Now Revenir’s eyes didn’t haunt her like they did.
Like Josh had said, part of her had found the peace she had been so desperately
looking for. But she didn’t know if it came from killing Revenir or not. Maybe
it came from her forgiving herself. Or maybe it came from knowing that the
nightmare was over. The nightmare that she could have ended at any time, had she
only known how. Iceblade reached over and hugged his big sister tightly. Then he
let her go and grinned at her.
“I have some business that I also want to discuss,” he said in a very important
sounding voice.
“Oh, please go on, Mr. Iceblade,” Blackfire answered with a smile.
“I would like to join you. You know, in the White Court.”
“What?” Blackfire asked, truly shocked. Iceblade had never struck her as a team
player. He didn’t like following orders very well. And she knew that he was very
quick to jump into situations without thinking them through, especially in
fights.
“I want to join you, White Queen!” he said, jumping up and pulling her up with
him. “Come on, I need the practice. Besides, it’d be nice to be near my big
sister again. And I’ve heard that the white court has some HOT chicks!”
Blackfire laughed, still slightly stunned by the news.
“You want to be a Hellion?” she asked.
“Ooooh, that sound wicked!” Iceblade answered. “Where do I sign up? Iceblade,
the Hellion! I like it!”
“Well, of course you can join,” Blackfire told him. “How could I refuse my
little brother?”
“That’s great! You could train with me. . . our powers are the opposite! You
know--”
“You know I’ll kick your ass,” Blackfire answered, giving him a playful shove.
“Probably true,” Iceblade answered meekly.
“Okay, so shall we go?” Blackfire asked him.
“I think you need to make a phone call first,” Iceblade answered.
“What?” Blackfire asked.
“Josh Hayes. . . he’s in the phone book.” Blackfire stopped walking and turned
around to face him. She was about to argue but then she stopped. He was right.
It was time to call Josh again. She wanted to make sure he was okay. And,
besides, she missed him like hell.
“Let’s go make that phone call then,” Blackfire told him. He grinned and put his
arm around her. Blackfire turned around and looked at the big oak tree before
she left. She glanced at the words at the bottom of the trunk. It said “Josh and
Sharon, best friends forever.” Forever was a long time. She had some catching up
to do.
“When the rain washes you clean. . . you’ll know.” –Stevie Nicks
THE END