Knight's End *HF*
By Havok
Knight's End
Written by Havok
The mirror behind the bar was shattered. Bits of broken glass and the remains of a whiskey bottle littered the floor next to the kegs. As had been happening a lot lately, he'd had a violent burst of emotion (in this case anger) and he took it out on something near him.
He stood up unsteadily. He supported himself with one hand on the stool while his body got used to the concept of being upright. He looked at the mirror again. His reflection was broken and cracked. Much the way he felt inside.
He let go of the stool and carefully made his way behind the bar. He knelt slowly down to change the cd which had stopped playing over an hour before. He scanned the discs for something to fit his mood. Finding nothing, he pulled himself up. The sudden movement upward sent waves of pressure to his skull. His vision blurred and he fell to the floor, cutting his hands and arms on the broken glass. He picked the glass out of his wounds swiftly with one clawed finger. He stood again, easing his way up to the bar and began to make himself another drink.
He laughed as he pictured the looks on Silver and Nem's faces when they saw what he'd done. They had enough to worry about without an inner cirle member getting plastered every night and busting up the furniture. The recent upheaval in the BHC had had a profound affect on all members. Repercussions were still felt as more members dropped from the ranks of the BHC.
While he was disturbed by the recent events in the BHC, much more of his discontent stemmed from within him. He felt as though there were parts of himself that he knew nothing about. Ever since his descent into the sewers of New York City, all he'd known was to fight. To survive. Those instincts served him well in the BHC. His fighting skills had proved invaluable on many occasions.
"But is that all there is to me?" he asked of his distorted reflection. He downed his drink. As he brought the glass away from his mouth he stared at his claws. The blood from his wounds snaked around his talons. It was a sight he'd seen many times before. He'd almost convinced himself that it did not bother him. With his claws, he was capable of tearing steel and rending flesh. Coupled with his bio-electric blast, there were few foes he feared.
Then why did he feel a gnawing in his belly? What did he fear? He pondered these questions as he poured himself a tall glass of beer. He staggered back around to his stool and sat back down. He stared at his reflection until dawn. His beer remained untouched where he set it.
As the first rays of sunlight hit the back of his neck, his head snapped up. He rubbed his eyes and checked the clock above the door to the bar. 5:30 AM. He could feel a monster hangover incubating in the back of head. He staggered up the stairs to the men's wing of the mansion. Drunken fingers fumbled the key into the lock on his door. He shoved the door open and promptly fell forward onto the floor of his room. He lay there, passed out, until the morning cleaning crew found him. As they always did, they picked him up and helped him to his bed.
He slept until the gong sounded for dinner. He ran his hand through his short blond hair as he sat up. He glanced at his mirror and groaned. He truly looked horrible. His eyes were bloodshot and his mouth was cottony thick with sleep and alcohol. Only one thing for it, he thought. He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed one of the tall bottles there. He brought it to his lips, closed his eyes and gulped down the remains of the liquor. He had no idea what it was but it was chasing away the last bit of his headache.
He shifted his legs so he sat on the edge of his bed. He put his head in his hands and began to cry softly. Why do I feel this way? His body quickly became racked with sobs. What's wrong with me? He screamed his sorrow at the walls. What the Hell is happening to me? His hands groped for another bottle. Finding it empty, he flung it at the wall. It shattered, raining shards of glass onto the floor. The rest of his bottles soon followed. He turned to throw his alarm clock at the mirror, anticipating the sweet sound of the glass shattering, when he caught a glimpse of his reflection. His eyes were wild and feverish. His lips were pulled back from his teeth in a snarling rictus. Every muscle was tensed and ready for action. He felt his heart pound in anticipation.
He took a few deep breaths and set down his clock. He got up and dressed himself in whatever was closest to his feet. He made his way to the dining hall. Most of the others were already seated. They tried not to stare at him as he took his seat at the table reserved for members of the inner circle. A plate of food was quickly set down in front of him. He shoveled it in, barely tasting it. His comrades at the table stole glances at him out of the corners of their eyes. They said nothing to him but their concern was plain. He had been growing increasingly more self-destructive in the past few weeks. All of them had tried to speak to him about it. He shrugged them off with false promises of reformation or with anger at their trying to control his life. The wiser members of the Court knew that no one could help him if he did not want to be helped. So they sat back and prayed every night that he would still be alive the next morning.
He finished his meal. By this time, the entire membership was in the hall. Confused, he glanced about the room. Then he remembered it was Wednesday. The weekly Black Hellfire Club General Assembly. He had never been much for the pomp and circumstance. He especially detested these long drawn out meetings. He sat back and closed his eyes.
The Black King Silver stood. The hall fell silent as he spoke. "Your King bids you welcome. Scribe! Read back the minutes of last week's meeting."
He tried to get comfortable in his chair. His thoughts continued to torture him.
*How can you live with yourself? You're sick. A freak. Claws for hands. The ability to detonate most anything you see. The instincts of a killer. A killer. Killer.* He shifted nervously as the minutes were read. *Do you deserve to live? Should you be put down? Do you have any worth to anybody at all?*
His body shuddered and he sat up straight in his chair. He knew what he needed to do. He wiped the tears away from his eyes and concentrated on Silver as he stood again.
"Before we begin this week's procedings, is there any new business that needs to be addressed that is not on the agenda?"
He stood up unsteadily and cleared his throat.
Silver acknowledged him, "The assembly recognizes the Black Knight, Havok."
All eyes were on him. Havok returned the stares and spoke.
"I...I'm just...Oh Hell, I retire! I'm done. I'm no longer the Black Knight."
He walked to the front gate of the Black Hellfire Club Mansion slowly. He heart was torn. Perhaps beyond repair. But he knew that healing could not take place if he stayed. His decision was the only logical one for him to make.
His announcement had thrown the assembly into chaos. With another founding member leaving, many wondered how the team would survive. But Havok knew better. They had survived much worse than the loss of one Black Knight. And they would survive again.
He reached the front gate and he hesitated. He reflexively wished for a drink. He then remembered that he had obliterated every bit of alcohol in his possession right after the Assembly. It had felt good. Much better than the alcohol had ever made him feel. He held on to one bottle-cap as a talisman against his problem. He squeezed it as he leaned on the gate and smiled.
As he walked out the gate to the nearby bus stop, he reflected on his destination. He had no idea where he was headed. But that didn't bother him. Maybe he'd go to school. Maybe he'd get a job.
It was the start of a grand adventure.
The man formerly known as Havok, the ex-Knight of the Black Hellfire Court, began whistling a tune as he walked away.
The End
Mystikal
Grey Pawn
Official XMBB Scribe
"I hate redundacy and reptition"
"I try to hide my intellectual inadequencies with a bad attitude and big words like intellectual inadequencies."
Hellfire Court Webpage